Changing how we change – in real life

Change is not always pretty and it is rarely cheap or easy = it takes investment of time, resources, thinking, listening, planning and unplanning, agile maneuvering, trial and error and reinforcing.

Redoing things over and over and getting nowhere is frustrating, deflating and worse, sends us the message that we aren’t very good at change. Just think about the cupboard of unfinished projects at work and at home.

How do we explore the old ‘stories’ and habits we need to shift to actually nail our goals?

Bringing this further into my practice as a change practitioner, leadership and change coach is helping my clients see better progress and success. We are cutting to the heart of the real WHY things stall or go off track, what they want and are willing to do differently to achieve their outcomes and the recipe for adopting new change habits.

Let me share an example

In one of my series of coaching conversations with Change Leaders (executives), JB and I were talking about what is getting in the way of working better with the boss. It won’t surprise any of us to hear that there was some ‘I’m worried they will think I am not up to the job – what if I’m not??’, followed by JB’s feeling of anxiety and shame. It meant that JB often froze or didn’t speak up when meeting with the boss. I bet that struck a chord for some of us!

It was a big step for JB to say that to me – respect. We looked at JB having a way of resetting the old script in real-life, priming the brain for when it happens again so it can kick the new script into gear, rather than JB falling into the old script and hole of anxiety and shame. We worked through what JB would do and say next time that would be more effective and lead JB to write new neural pathways.

A month later, JB and I were talking about several examples in which JB was able to monitor things, use the primed alternatives and the impacts. While it was still clunky, JB’s sense of anxiety was reducing and JB was actual enjoying tabling new ideas with the boss. New experience, new script. And repeat until it becomes easier.

Methodology alone will not solve these situations – it’s a good starting point and people take confidence and comfort knowing there is a way through. How you skillfully apply it, move around and through it, build your own experience and growth mindset is what will be most useful to your clients and to yourself.

Like to know more?

If it sounds like something you would like to add to your practitioner skill set, check out the NeuroChange Practitioner Program, what it covers and how it works, or download the Four Phases of the NeuroChange Method (PDF).

If you want to learn more about how to nail your own goals and plans, 1:1 coaching with me is the best way to get down into where you want to be, what’s really getting in the way, the strengths you can leverage and how to get there. You can set up a free chat here.

What’s in the lab? I am designing a program that helps you better achieve your goals, learn how to change more effectively and let go of the thinking that does not serve you anymore. Watch this space!

Let’s keep the conversation going:

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